Karl Zimmerman's blog

Decisions

Karl Zimmerman — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:15:19 +0000

It's pretty easy to choose between good and evil and a clear right and wrong. The hard part is making a decision between two (or more) goods. And that's often what we're faced with.

I just talked to my daughter, who is now (gasp!) a sophomore in college. She is a Linguistics major and would like to study abroad and has a chance to do so in Vienna. Should she go for one or two semesters? Fall or Spring? Should she stay at college for the summer where she has a job lined up or come home to St. Louis where it is uncertain? Decisions, decisions.

I am also faced with it. Personal and career and ministry, lots of stuff have come up lately. We are all faced with it every day and some are bigger than others.

You probably already know what I am going to say next. Yes, I am being called to prayer. Yes, I need to spend time before the Blessed Sacrament and allow Christ to form my heart, my desires and my will.

Sometimes, that's the only thing I know for sure, that I need to seek God and trust in Him. "Find your delight in the Lord who will give you your heart's desire. Commit your way to the Lord; trust that God will act." (Psalm 37:4-5) God makes an awesome promise and I believe it.

I do know that even a non-decision is a decision and that I don't want to change just because of change. I know I must pray, and seek. Can I do it? With your grace, Lord...

Seeking and Finding Home

Karl Zimmerman — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 14:45:18 +0000

It is a pretty unique time for me -- besides having fun doing music and youth ministry these days, we just celebrated two graduations in my family -- my two daughters Paula and Amy. Paula just graduated high school, now headed to the University of Illinois and Amy, 8th grade, is off to Cor Jesu Academy. So the last few days and weeks have been filled with Senior send-off's, goodbyes, and more than a few tears and hugs. And not just with my daughters, but all of the awesome teens and young adults who are moving into the next chapter of their lives. Excited or scared, homesick or giddy, stressed or lonely, happy or sad, strong or weak, lost or found -- no matter how we're feeling, the Lord wants us to place our trust in Him every day.

I remember a few years ago when I met Danielle Rose. She is an awesome, gifted, and holy Catholic singer. We were both performing at the Crossroads Music Festival in Steelville MO. and I had a big brother moment. I asked her, with all of her travels, how does she stay grounded in her life? She responded simply, with a smile, Karl, she said, I find a chapel and go to Mass or just sit before the Eucharist everywhere I go. Because I know when I am with Jesus, I am home.So my prayer for Paula and Amy and everybody: always know you are loved, know you are being prayed for, and that you will have the grace to seek and find Jesus every day. For when you are with the Lord, you will be truly home.

How do you know for sure?

Karl Zimmerman — Tue, 15 May 2007 03:04:53 +0000

Discerning God's will is something that teens, heck everyone, deals with every day. What college should I go to? What major? Should I work evenings or leave more time for youth ministry stuff? Should I date? Who? Should I be a priest or sister? Should I get married? Who and when? Where should I work? If this piques your interest, you're not alone. But I am going to ruin the suspense and just say it -- I don't know the answers. Most of us really don't know for sure, but I'll tell you what I do.Pray. Well, I always TRY to pray, not just when you need an answer for something. Sometimes not easy, but I believe God can and does reveal His will.I always ask myself if I am doing the honest thing, the right thing. I promise you this -- you'll never regret doing what is right. Like I don't think I have ever said, "man, that random act of kindness was stupid, darn, if only I had been mean to that guy, if only I would have stolen that thing..." Just never happens. What is the desire of my heart? When we seek God, I truly believe he forms our desires. Like when Mother Teresa went to live with and serve the poorest of the poor, I believe it was a deep yearning for her. Probably the hardest part for her was NOT doing her ministry with the poor. What gives you life? It could be that those are the things God wants you to pursue. Music is a real passion for me, but I am not the musician that just adores music for its own sake. Don't get me wrong I love all kinds of music, both listening to and playing -- but for me, just playing tunes is ok, but does not give me life -- it somehow needs to be connected with sharing my love for God, my faith in Christ. Then it's like - wow, cool! Finally, I just take the next step. Here I am, doing music ministry for teens all over St. Louis. I love it, it's like a dream come true. But I never envisioned it, at least not the way it turned out. Really, I just took one step, playing music for a Mass. Then another step. Then another. And pretty soon, I end up somewhere -- wow, see how God led me here!There are many scripture verses that come to mind, but the one that always speaks to me is Psalm 37:4"Find your delight in the LORD who will give you your heart's desire."

Your Prayers Saved My Life

Karl Zimmerman — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 13:59:16 +0000

A teen approached me last week and told me she prays for me every day. A good friend and core member just sent me a text message and told me they prayed a rosary for me. My youth minister and I prayed together in the parking lot last week. Complete strangers walked up to me at the Steubenville conference and told me they are praying for me.This blog is really a simple thank you. Thank you for your prayers.It has taken me a long time to realize this. But I now know everything I do in music, heck my life, comes from God’s grace. Your prayers literally carry me through everyday.Many times I feel overwhelmed by the worries of the day or by the work, or the ministry I have been called to do. Somehow, in the midst of it, a peace comes, and an assurance that God is leading and guiding me, revealing his love and mercy no matter how broken I feel. God can take our lives and make them holy and whole. Maybe I don’t do much that is extraordinary, but what little I do that is good is due to your prayers and God's mercy.Prayer is the most generous gift you can give. When you pray, it’s like you are using unseen laser weapons to defeat the power of Satan. If you REALLY want to do something special for someone, pray. You may be literally saving their life.So my simple request: Please keep praying for me. I'll pray for you too.

Life Really Matters

Karl Zimmerman — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 16:03:31 +0000

I have many memories from this past weekend – the trip to Washington D.C. with 800 or so teens from St. Louis – Life Really Matters.

Friday Night, Jan 20 6:00 PM: The House Band plays as groups begin to arrive at CBC High School. Mr and Mrs Incredible make an appearance, the L.I.F.T. team does a skit and Mass is led by Fr. O'Toole.

9:00 PM We load up the buses for the lonnnnng bus trip to DC (though not as long as the people who had the flat tire). There almost isn't enough room for sound equipment. Whew! We made it.

Jan 21 2:30 AM (now on EST) The bus stops somewhere in eastern Indiana.

8:00 AM What's round on the sides and high in the middle..? OHIO -- only now we're in West Virginia. I must have gotten SOME sleep...

2:00 PM Arrive at hotel in Arlington VA. A much appreciated meal and a shower.

7:00 PM IN hotel ballroom, band plays, the Incredibles return, Super Crowder makes an appearance, and finally Daniel DiSilva shares his faith and performs music. Reconciliation too.

8:45 PM Matthew Baute and I play our guitars and sing praise and worship songs in the hotel lobby – this is a first.

Midnight: Crash.

Jan 22 8:30 AM Our group from St. Clements and St. Catherine’s meet in the lobby. We have a great time on the metro (the train system that connects DC), the Spy Museum, and then eat some genuine Chinese food in Chinatown. Then, we go to the National Archives where several of our teens plot to pilfer the Declaration of Independence. Not really, but they saw the movie.

5:30 PM Sound check back at the hotel. Mass soon starts with Jonah shouting out a call for everyone to repent. Homily is killer -- more about that later... Incredibles return one last time...

8:00 PM Rockin' fun concert from Janelle, followed by adoration. Sweet.

11:30 PM Papa Johns Pizza with those pepperoncini peppers, yummy.

Jan 23 5:30 AM Awake early, Starbucks, and load the buses.

8:00 AM Arrive at MCI Center -- rally, followed by Mass, love Tony Melendez and the gospel choir.

11:30 AM March to the march. Actual march starts at 1:30 PM or so.

4:00 PM Hanging around Union Station waiting for bus to board. Hanging around Union Station waiting for bus to board. Wait, didn't I just say that..?

7 PM: We board bus, the lonnnng bus ride home begins. Not really awake, not really asleep, but still pretty ok.

Tues, Jan 24 11:30 AM Back in STL, need sleep.

Of all that I remember from the weekend, two things stood out and both happened during Mass. The first was Sunday night where Fr. Steve Robeson told us the march “starts on our knees”. It put everything into focus, as we prepared to go forward with God’s grace and power. Even Monday as we began to march down Constitution Avenue with 100,000+ mass of humanity, I imagined all of us on our knees praying and God’s hand over everyone.

The other thing that stood out was Monday at Mass. It was not any one thing, just the 25,000 people at the MCI Center (and 2,000 that were turned away) with cardinals, archbishops, bishops and hundreds of priests, seminarians and religious. In that moment, I felt so proud and blessed to be Catholic, to be Christian, to be in that place and time.

I don’t know how soon it will be until Roe v Wade gets overturned and laws are allowed to limit or ban the killing of innocent life. Nor can we be sure if and how the lives of the teens and other marchers were transformed by this pilgrimmage to DC. But I do know this: if we remember the march for life starts from our knees, God’s love will lead us home.

Reset

Karl Zimmerman — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 20:46:43 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kind of a time to clean up and get ready. For me, Thanksgiving weekend is the time to clean my closet, my desk, organize and file music. Basically, simplify, reset.

I'm going to let Advent be that for me. Four weeks from Sunday we will once again celebrate Jesus' coming into the world as an infant in the arms of Mary. Completely vulnerable, fully human and yet, fully God. Pretty humble, and humbling. Lord, help me to clean house and be ready for your return once again.

OK, back to clearing off my desk...

Simple Is Hard

Karl Zimmerman — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 00:52:03 +0000

A good friend of mine and I used to write songs together, and even though we don't collaborate as often as we used to, I remember something he used to say: "Simple is hard".

Kind of like last Sunday's gospel:

*Jesus was asked, "Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?"
He said to him,
"You shall love the Lord, your God,
with all your heart,
with all your soul,
and with all your mind.
This is the greatest and the first commandment.
The second is like it:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."*
Matthew 22:34b-40

Simple isn't it? Just love God and love your neighbor. Simple to understand, but hard to do.

I don't believe God ever intends to trick or mislead us -- his commands really are that simple. Still, in order to fulfill his commands, we need to rely on His grace, fully and completely. Without it, living God's commands is not only hard, it's impossible.

Think about the times when it's really hard to love someone. Usually for me, it starts at home with my family. Maybe because I *expect* more from my wife or kids, it's easier to be disappointed. And it modef is easy for me to disappoint them. Often, it's simply a matter of forgiving or asking forgiveness. Simple, but hard.

So today, I pray for God's grace, not just for me, but for you. May we take His simple command to love, and actually do it. It's hard to do. But with God's grace, all things are possible.

P&W

Karl Zimmerman — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 18:54:44 +0000

It's kind of the code phrase -- P&W -- praise and worship. There's something about it that lifts my heart up to God, and changes me from within.

For me, it's all about getting my thoughts and eyes off myself and my own situation and simply focusing on the glory of God almighty. How great is our God!

Music allows me to say things that words alone cannot express. It's as if I need the kick drum and the bass guitar to give me the courage to truly shout it out -- God, there is no one like you!

I can say in words, "Jesus I want to give my life to you." But when I sing it, it becomes part of who I am, a prayer of my heart -- here am I, all of me. Take my life, it's all for thee, Lord.

JP2 We Love You

Karl Zimmerman — Tue, 05 Apr 2005 19:15:17 +0000

When I reflect on Pope John Paul II, I am at peace and grateful that God blessed us with this holy man as Pope for over 26 years.

I think of the time he forgave the man who shot and nearly killed him.

I think of the many visits he made to the US and to nations across the globe. How he was unafraid and bold in His desire to serve the Church, to be a visible sign of Jesus' presence in the Church.

I think of how he spoke clearly and decisively against policies that are anti-life, or oppressive to the poor, yet how he was still respected, even by his adversaries.

I think of how he energized so many to live their faith.

I think of how one person, one man could make such an incredible difference in the life of so many.

I think of his love for the Church, especially young people. I think of how tears came to my eyes when he finally arrived at the Kiel Center in St. Louis in January 1999, the one and only time I was blessed to be in His presence. How I felt a sense of being with a truly holy man of God, the vicar of Jesus Himself.

I think of how much we will miss him, his leadership, his steadfastness, and his holiness, but mostly, his love for God's people, and how we loved him back.

Dog Bites and Expensive Hot Dogs

Karl Zimmerman — Wed, 16 Mar 2005 18:58:04 +0000

I was in Chicago recently on a short vacation -- well, two days if that counts. I drove into a downtown drugstore parking lot and went in to buy a pack of gum. When I walked out I noticed this awesome hot dog place across the street (Portillo's for you insiders) and decided to get a fully loaded dog. Not in there ten minutes.

When I walked out, I crossed the street -- no car. A guy handed me a piece of paper - "your car was towed." "Awesome", I reponded, "how much?" "$150, here's the address where your car is - a cab is the quickest."

Wow, that was awesome. I looked up, sure enough there was the sign. I was set up so bad, I almost congratulated them. When I finally picked up my car, I was in line behind some pretty angry people (who had also had their car towed). I thought a fight or worse would break out. I was strangely calm.

That was a week after I got bit by a dog. Broke the skin, bruised my leg pretty good - had to check with the local vet to make sure I didn't have rabies.

Wow, that was awesome too.

For some reason, I wasn't really upset at either of these events. OK, not thrilled. But I didn't even say, "Why me God?" It was just, ok God, here we go. The scripture, "the joy of the Lord must be your strength" jumped into my head. I had to look it up; its Nehemiah chapter 8, verse 10.

It's true. God gives us the grace we need. God never allows to experience anything we cannot handle. Somehow, by choosing to follow Him, He gives us His joy, even when inconveniences happen. In a couple of random moments, He transformed my attitude, and changed my heart. I thank God for His grace every day.

That was the best $150 hot dog I ever had.

Lent is Here

Karl Zimmerman — Wed, 09 Feb 2005 22:22:58 +0000

Forty days of desert time coming up. Lent is here.

This Lent, I am not going to try to do huge things. No major self mortifications. No big resolutions. Nope -- instead, this year, Lent is going to be a lot of little things. Going to adoration and silence more frequently. Praying the rosary in the car. Cutting back on (but not totally giving up) some favored food and drink. Some random and not so random service and kindness.

That's the way God is calling me to change. God wants my whole heart, and he wants it in every way. But if you'll excuse a football analogy here, the discipline he is calling me to is more like three yards and a cloud of dust than a long TD pass.

I hope and pray that you can find God's call for you this Lent.

Following A Star

Karl Zimmerman — Tue, 21 Dec 2004 10:51:30 +0000

Christmas for me has always been about family. Whether we visit my parents or Lisa's, our moms and dads always seem to love to have the kids and grandkids around. We all go to Mass together, usually on Christmas morning -- when we visit my folks, sometimes my dad is the lector and my mom a Eucharistic Minister, back at their parish in Rockford, IL.

Almost every year, my wife Lisa and I and our three children Stephen, Paula, and Amy, set out on a journey around Christmas or Christmas Eve. Usually we have to plan quite a bit, pack gifts and so forth and its 300 miles away, whether we go northeast or southwest.

Even though the time in the car is more like organized chaos, for me it has become a journey of prayer. The emotion and the anticipation is a lot like all of Advent wrapped into one five hour trip. Almost as if we are the Magi on the long journey to Bethlehem.

This experience actually inspired a song that I wrote a few years ago. I hope you don't mind if I share it with you. And to you and your family, I pray you'll have a wonderful Christmas, filled with love and best "present" of all -- God's "presence" in your heart.

Following A Star

Look out on a cold dark winter's night
The silver moon and stars reflect the light
A blanket made of snow blows all around
Through the echoes still I hear a sound

Childhood melodies refresh my ear
Memories of love and yuletide cheer
Twinkling colors red and green and white
Yield to a still much greater light

Following a star tonight
Looking for a place so calm and bright
Celebrate this winter holiday
Journey to a place so far away

Hear the story of the wisemen's flight
Received a message to pursue the light
Gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh
With Mary near at hand by the manger

A vision of this needy family
Help us comprehend the mystery
The real hero comes, the humble one
Revealed as the Father's first born Son

Finally arrive the cold replaced
Greeted by a welcome warm embrace
Grateful we can share this day again
Worship now the child in Bethlehem

Following a star tonight
Looking for a place so calm and bright
Celebrate this winter holiday
Journey to a place so far away

Following a star tonight
Shining with a tail so long and bright
Greeted by the precious new born child
A place where love and mercy have arrived

BONUS

Karl Zimmerman — Sun, 31 Oct 2004 14:47:54 +0000

A few years ago I attended a basketball tournament and in the closing minutes of the game, a foul occurred and the announcer would say "foul on #21 Johnson - BONUS" -- then, as the player walked to the free throw line, "at the line #11 Daniel Brown ... shooting one ... plus the BONUS".

In the movie, "That Thing You Do", the up and coming band the "Oneders" just finished their gig at Villapianos and the owner places a bunch of $10 and $20 bills on the bar before the band members -- "do you know what this is?" he asked. Lenny the guitar player, says, "Presidential flashcards?". The owner says, "It's a BONUS -- the words out on you Oneders".

"BONUS" for me, sort of describes most of what happens in my life. Here is what I mean: God has saved us from sin and death by the passion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We have everything in God - he supplies all our needs, gives us His very Body and Blood in the Eucharist, protects us from evil and sends the Holy Spirit upon us to fill us and lead us.

In other words, God has given us everything. So, when we experience happiness and joy through our friendships, or through music, or from our family, or maybe some random event like the baseball playoffs or our field hockey team, or a musical, or a favorite movie -- these things are extra. They are beyond all we really need, but they're cool things that bring joy to our lives. They are BONUS!

So, I thank God for his passion and death, for the victory He has won and the salvation He offers us. And I also thank God for all the BONUS things that happen every day.

For the Kids

Karl Zimmerman — Tue, 19 Oct 2004 15:50:59 +0000

Not too long ago, a little boy saw a CD with the word "GlennonSongs" and asked -- "is that for Glennon Childrens Hospital?" We told him it was. "That's where I go", he said, matter of factly, as kids do.

So many times, I or one of the GlennonSongs players, have heard from kids or moms or dads or friends who have spent all too many hours at Cardinal Glennon Childrens Hospital. The sickness and trauma can be overwhelming, but the love and care that comes from those at the Hospital is incredible.

With the Cardinals still alive in the playoffs, the football season in full swing, a presidential election around the corner, school, etc, there seems to be no shortage of things to grab our attention. I hesitate to add anything to the mix. But I'm going to do it anyway, ha ha.

In November, there will be three concerts by GlennonSongs, to benefit Cardinal Glennon Childrens Hospital.

Here are the basics:
November 6, St. Catherine Laboure Parish Hall, St. Louis;
November 11, Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows, Belleville, IL;
November 17 Sheldon Concert Hall, St. Louis.

The first two are free - the Sheldon has a $10 charge. The players are Christian Cosas, Theo Harden, Fran Barnes, Chris Miller, myself, LisaZ and some other solid musicians, playing praise and worship music and some of the tunes from the two GlennonSongs CDs. All three start at 7 PM.

The new CD is a Christmas CD, "Hope in the Cradle" -- it has a lot of popular Christmas tunes. The record was mastered by Grammy Award winning producer Roger Nichols. To be honest, its one of the best Christmas records I've ever heard, and that includes the big boys.

All of the money from admissions, GlennonSongs CD sales, donations -- goes for the kids.

Turn Your Gaze to Heaven

Karl Zimmerman — Tue, 28 Sep 2004 02:41:34 +0000

I looked up into the sky last Saturday night and saw a beautiful bright moon. In that moment, someone spoke of how the moon is a lot like Mary, our Blessed Mother. The moon is not the light itself but, rather, reflects the light of the glorious sun. In the same way, Holy Mary relects the light of her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ to us.

As I reflected on this, I thought about Mary and praying the rosary, which I do quite often. The main reason is ... well, when I sin, which unfortunately is way too often, I find it more difficult to pray. It's just hard for me to approach the Lord -- I feel the need for repentance and the Sacrament of Reconciliation. But that may not happen for a few days. What do I do until then?

I pray the rosary. When I struggle entering into prayer, for some reason I find it easier to ask Mary to pray for me. She is approachable and loving and I feel safe knowing she is interceding on my behalf.

I was talking to a non-Catholic Christian friend recently and we somehow got on the subject of Mary. I explained its sort of like, no exactly like, asking someone very holy to pray for you. After I explained the Hail Mary prayer -- the first part is from the gospel of Luke, and the second part is a simple humble request for prayer -- I think they understood.

Way too often, I feel distant from God.
But I am so grateful to be able to reflect on the mysteries of Jesus' life, passion and glory in the rosary. And to be able to ask my mother to pray for me.

Much like the moon was bright last Saturday night, but not too bright to look at -- Mary helps me approach the light once again. I can gaze into heaven and see the reflection of our one true Lord God and it leads me out of the darkness into His wonderful light.

I'll Pencil You In

Karl Zimmerman — Sat, 04 Sep 2004 23:44:36 +0000

I am too busy. I freely admit it. I didn't start off and say, "man I think I need to get busy. I need to schedule more things than I really have time for."

But I have work, music ministry stuff, and family stuff. I say yes to one thing, then another and then another. And pretty soon, I am really REALLY busy.

Ok, being busy is not necessarily a bad thing. I have found that it helps me to have a lot to do -- that for me, it's better to keep going. Work hard, play hard, pray hard, sleep. That's me.

But the problem I have is that I do not always schedule, as my friend Peggy calls it, "me and God" time. I assume that I will find time, will make time every day to be in His presence.

And many days I do. I am so blessed to have a Eucharistic adoration chapel in my parish, and also at a church not too far from my office. I am blessed to have a home where I can find a quiet place, albeit after the kids go to bed.

But some days I don't. I make a lot of excuses. I say, "well, ran out of time, guess I'll just pray on the way." or, "Mass is prayer, right?" Not all bad to be sure, but not exactly the best way to build a relationship with my best friend.

I did something today - I took out my calender -- which for me, is my Palm Desktop software -- and I looked at it. I found many events where I am somehow involved in music and church - Masses, concerts, youth ministry events, etc. I found lots of good things in there. But I couldn't find one single entry that was simply, "PRAY" or "ADORATION" or "QUIET TIME with JESUS". They simply didn't exist.

Tonight, I'm updating my schedule.

Random Summer Thoughts

Karl Zimmerman — Fri, 20 Aug 2004 15:23:31 +0000

Summer isn't quite over, but with school resuming in the next week or two, I started to reflect on my memories from the summer of 2004. Rather than try and write a coherent blog that flows nicely, I decided to go with random bullet points. Here goes:

Memories from Summer 2004:

Running up the hill at Riverport to see the David Crowder Band.

Late night praying in parking lots. Tornado warnings.

Meeting new friends from far away: Nina, Britt, Steffi, and Fr. Hugo from The Netherlands, also known as Holland and who speak Dutch. Short but sweet vacation: boogie boarding on beach.

Biggest summer challenge: Seeing friends struggle with/reject their faith.

Second biggest summer challenge: Not getting my CD done.

Incredible faith from teens. Extreme core team. Life Teen Mass at St. Clements. Noon Mass at SCL.

Steubenville.

F and C, friends I could never repay, maybe ever and they wouldn't let me anyway.

Ultimate frisbee. Pool parties. Playing and praying with Brad and Joel at Project Life. Best movie at theatre: Spiderman II. Best movie at home: That Thing You Do for the 10th time. Chili and stiff cokes at Steak N Shake. Text messaging. Living out of a box. Float trip. A commitment prayer at Steub.

Feeling sad about friends going away to college, especially my summer drummer Mike. Hanging out with the radical dude, jflagg, the other z woman and st. charles.

1 AM chats. T-shirts in general.

XLT.

On Being Vulnerable

Karl Zimmerman — Sat, 24 Jul 2004 05:02:46 +0000

This year's Steubenville Conference was an anointed time. Many things stand out. One was the feeling of being surrounded by saints, and another was a beautiful gift God blessed me with.

We all know how easy it is to lose attention, to daydream or drift, not focus on the moment, get distracted, whatever. However, that did not happen to me at Steubenville. Instead, I was able to live in the moment the whole time. It was God's gift to me.

Whatever we were doing: entering into prayer, music, listening -- I was totally engaged, but the whole time also felt very vulnerable before God. Like I was on a journey and I wasn't driving and I didn't know where we were headed.

Being vulnerable is a little scary and risky. People judge us or may reject us sometimes. Just a few weeks ago, I was asked to talk to our teens -- what was it like to be a father of a teenager. Even now I feel a little, well - vulnerable - mentioning it. But basically, I got a chance to tell everybody how much I love my son and daughter and that it's ok if they don't want to tell me too much of what's going on. I pray for them and love them and yeah, worry a little too, but I am there for them.

Last Sunday, a week after the conference, one of the teens from our youth group stood before the whole group and shared some very difficult struggles he is having. The teens present that night could have ignored or ridiculed him, or just made light of it, but they didn't. Instead, one by one, many of the teens shared their own struggles. Here was one guy being vulnerable, and everyone opened up to the Holy Spirit working in their lives. It was awesome and inspiring.

I think what I saw from this is that being vulnerable before our Christian family, and ultimately, before God, is not an easy thing. But when we are weak, it is then that God is strong and His grace is poured out.

captain's personal blog stardate 20040625

Karl Zimmerman — Fri, 25 Jun 2004 17:25:11 +0000

first of all, where i come from, we do not use capital letters. you will get used to it. punctuation is not generally used, but my universal translator automatically inserts commas, periods and quotations as i dictate in my native tongue.

for the last month, i have been stranded on this planet called earth. it is an interesting place, with interesting people. the city in which i have found residence is called saint louis. the local maps and sports franchises abbreviate it to "st. louis", but i learned that it is actually named for a holy man who lived a couple hundred years ago.

this is my story:

20040625 some people sweat when they get hot, some when they get nervous, some when they do physical work. i did all of them last night and couldn't have been more soaked if someone had taken a water hose and drenched me. that was after playing guitar and singing in a steamy room with 250 teens for two hours. but i am told that's ok, it's prayer sweat.

20040623 i have found myself in the middle of a thing called "project life". it is a week long service retreat. there are lots of vans, lots of people, lots of work sites: definitely a "project". is there "life" in this project? well, about 120 teens painted, cleaned and built houses all week for a bunch of needy people they didn't know. hmmm, they gave "life" too.

20040619 strange tradition, these people have, singing to honor one's anniversary of their date of birth. their rendition was sweet, but the music was reminiscent of a crowded tavern.

20040617 learned a new term -- "boogie board" -- a small surf board to ride waves. after hours of riding waves, decided that God created ocean for riding waves.

20040614 discovered that a drink called "caramel frappucino" is very tasty

20040611 sang at a funeral today for a young girl named sondra, who apparently, a lot of people loved. and showed me again how precious life is, how such a little person could touch so many...

20040609 spent most of evening praying in a room with 19 girls. i was the only guy. i was slightly frightened by this experience.

20040528 - 20040605 attended several parties this week, including one for a young man named "juice". i thought juice was a drink but i am learning many words have multiple meanings. in fact, as i learn more, the details keep getting juicier and juicier.

20040527 weather outside was frightful, but the prayer inside was, well, delightful... learned that large hall full of teens don't seem to worry about severe weather warnings when Christ is present...

Be Here Now

Karl Zimmerman — Sat, 05 Jun 2004 16:31:29 +0000

As I walked out of Life Night last Sunday, I noticed one of the teens visibly upset. I asked if everything was ok, and they replied "not really", and I could tell they didn't want to talk about it right then, so I promised I would pray for them. A few days later I learned that they were bummed because their best friend was leaving for camp for the whole summer.

Earlier, I was chatting on line with a college student who was upset because one of their lifelong friends, now in college, was not coming home for the summer - they had a summer service project that would occupy them.

Whether we are coming or going, this is a time of year where change is noticeable, and sometimes hard. School is over, some friends or family are coming home, some are leaving, some are graduating, or getting married, or getting new jobs, or moving.

But while this time of year may bring some endings, it also brings new beginnings. Unexpectedly, we discover new things, make new friends or old friends reappear.

In my own life I find that, with these changes, I can often swerve into selfishness. Like being possessive, especially with friendships. I want to be the center of everything, and all of a sudden, they spend time with other people or do other things and I get a little jealous or envious. I realize I am just being selfish. I know I need to love them enough to share them or even let them go, but it's not easy and can be very humbling.

I once heard it said, three simple words, "be here now". I like it because it is a reminder for me to live each moment with passion and love.

I think "be here now" is the way God would have us live. Take time to pray that we can draw closer to the Lord, and learn to live each moment for Him. That we can love Him and others more every day. And pray for our friends (and everyone) for more of God's grace in their lives.

We will still feel some disrepair when change shakes our lives, but we will never miss a moment, never miss an opportunity to help someone in need, or make new friends or just to love someone enough to let them go.

One Year Later

Karl Zimmerman — Mon, 17 May 2004 16:56:22 +0000

May 27 is the one year anniversary of "XLT" in St. Louis, a monthly gathering of teens and young adults, where we praise and worship God in song and in adoration of Jesus in the Eucharist.

XLT stands for "exalt". In fact, when I talk about it, I often say "exalt", even though I may write "XLT". We borrowed the name from Life Teen, and there are "XLT" gatherings in many cities throughout the country, and maybe the world. For us, it is an event that several hundred people look forward to each month with great anticipation. Why is that?

I think many of us hunger to praise and worship God, to exalt our Lord. I think many of us love the energy created by gathering with a larger group of people. I think many of us love praise and worship music because it opens our hearts to pray, to express our love for the Lord, and to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

I think many of us have a longing and desire to be connected to the Church in a deeper way. The Blessed Sacrament is a sacred mystery and great tradition in our Church. I think many of us are drawn to that.

I think many of us love coming together where the parish boundaries are gone. Where age and race and social or economic differences don't matter.

Ultimately, I think we come to XLT because Jesus is present, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. We want to exalt Him, to know, love and serve Him. We come to be with Jesus.

Denny's or Steak N Shake

Karl Zimmerman — Sat, 01 May 2004 15:23:53 +0000

At our parish, our youth meet on Thursday nights, and random other nights. Invariably, we are hungry afterward, and our eating options many of you know. It's a cool time, people get to know each other, laugh, have fun, you know, it's all good. (btw - If I haven't had dinner, it's three-way Chili for me)

I sometimes think about the kids (and adults) who don't have the friends, or opportunity, or just can't afford to go out like that. How can I be more connected to the ones to whom Jesus calls us to reach out?

A while back, the pastor of our parish gave a homily after the gospel -- Jesus heals an afflicted begger. Our pastor said it's not just that Jesus healed the man, but that he actually took time to walk past the man, knowing he would be there that time of day, pleading for money or food. Jesus could have avoided him but didn't. Father asked us if we would take time to visit, to "walk past" some less fortunate.

It got me thinking about things we can do, like Project Life, a week long camp of service. There is also Christpower, there are soup kitchens that our parishes support. Heck, there might just be some elderly people who would appreciate your company.

As we celebrate the Easter season, I hope we'll spend some time eating and celebrating with friends, but also spend some time to "walk past" somebody in need and show them the love of Christ.

If You're In the House...

Karl Zimmerman — Thu, 15 Apr 2004 02:06:07 +0000

There is nothing more awesome as a musician, especially at Mass or leading praise and worship, than for the congregation to totally take over and own a song. Sometimes it happens by surprise, sometimes by design, but it is really REALLY cool when it happens. Here is what I mean: The music ministry plays a prayerful song, something most people know. As the song builds, the congregation sings with more and more energy, and then, almost magically, it is as if the congregation is leading the song, and we in the band just follow along. It is truly anointed, worshipful and inspiring.

I remember a day in late Spring last year – it was at Noon Mass, there was a baptism after the homily, and at the preparation of the gifts, we sang our parish Jubilee song. The church felt like it was shaking as we sang. I got chills, and as I looked around, and I could see that so did many others. The same kind of thing has happened singing "My Glorious" or "Here I Am to Worship". This Easter Sunday it was "We Are One Body."

Which brings me to my main thought. The music ministry is there to serve. But we are all part of it. When you participate at Mass, when you sing the songs, pray the prayers, and just enter in, you praise the God of the Universe! And (as a bonus!) you encourage everyone around you. You reflect Christ to the whole community. You might be the reason someone else opens their heart to God. It's no small role, and one we need to own. You may have heard it before, and I'll say it again.

If you're in the house, you're in the band.

Sarah's Story

Karl Zimmerman — Thu, 08 Apr 2004 16:43:18 +0000

Last November, I played a concert in Kirkwood, the second (of two) "GlennonSongs" concerts. GlennonSongs is a CD of Christian music produced by a bunch of St. Louis area musicians to benefit Cardinal Glennon Childrens Hospital. I learned later that no CD project for Glennon had ever made money for the hospital and they were very reluctant to support it. We have raised about $12k so far. Pretty cool. But that's not what I wanted to write about.

On that evening in November, it was a fairly light crowd, maybe 100 or so. Still, it was a very nice evening with the band, the Kirkwood Childrens Chorale and my buddies Blessed Bridge and Gabby among others, in the crowd.

During the concert, I was in the middle of singing a song - don't remember which one - but a little girl just walked right up in front of the stage and just looked at me - no, STARED at me for several minutes - with her big innocent eyes. She was probably 3 years old or so, and typically cute as 3 year olds are. She stood there for several minutes, and I just looked back at her and smiled and kept singing. It was one of those moments that remind me why I love music to begin with. After a while, one of her parents must have come forward and rescued her, and the concert continued. Afterward, lots of smiles and hugs and hand shakes were exchanged, but my lingering memory from that evening was this little girl, whom I hadn't met before nor have I seen since.

I learned this week the little girl's name is Sarah, and also learned that she is gravely ill. She has had epilepsy from infancy and seizures and complications now leave her close to death. It's heart breaking for everybody close, and even for some of us who aren't. Please pray for her and her family.

When you read this, maybe you feel sort of removed since you don't really know Sarah or her family. That's ok. Maybe you know somebody else like her or just somebody who is suffering. Just pray for them and all who suffer and their families. It's pretty tough and hard to put into words.

Life is just so fragile and precious. If you think about it, our lives are like a blip on the radar screen if you consider the time line of history. And yet, what a gift God has given us! In this short time on earth, we experience joy and sorrow, love and hurt, life and death. What a gift Life is.

Some people live long lives with lists of accomplishments that are visible for all. Others may live in relative obscurity. But only God knows and sees the real essence of our lives, and ALL are precious in His eyes. As I have reflected on my short visit with Sarah last November, I have decided that Sarah's life, no matter how brief, is a total gift to me. I thank God for that little girl and I get a little choked up thinking about losing her.

One cool thing about music is that I can sing things that I cannot easily say. A good friend of mine, Rico Bertucci, wrote a song a few years back:

"My little friend, I'm so glad I knew you, my little friend, if only for awhile. I will not forget your sweet, sweet smile, oh how you touched my life, my little friend"

God bless you, Sarah, we love you and may God hold you in the palm of His hand.