Why I Think Uranus is Important

I’m not gonna lie; I have my critics.  And, while very few people are critical of the serious stuff I talk about on retreats, what seems to really bother some people is the silly stuff.  The critics are very rarely teens, either.  It’s a small handful of adult leaders that I have worked with who think that my sense of humor is simply inappropriate.

I understand where they are coming from, too.  I happen to be a fan of adolescent humor, and some people are not.  I happen to believe, for example, that the fact that there is a planet named Uranus is extremely funny, and I love to joke around with teens on retreats about this fact.  Others are of the opinion that joking around about a topic like Uranus is not only gross-out humor, but that it is stooping to the level of teens when in fact we should be raising them up to a higher standard;  and therefore humor like this has no place in ministry.  I have been told exactly that, and consequently I have been asked by some adult leaders not to employ adolescent humor on some retreats.

I want to be very clear as I begin this blog - I am not saying that I am right and that my critics are wrong.  Everyone has a right to their opinion, and it could very well be that God does not think I am funny.  I may end up spending more time in purgatory than I could possibly imagine because of my sense of humor, so please pray for me.  Even so, I am willing to take that risk, because I believe that employing adolescent humor when working with adolescents actually can bring them up to the ultimate higher standard that we are all called to – a deeper life in Christ.  Yes, call me crazy, but I happen to think joking around about things like Uranus, and other adolescent topics, can be a good thing – for the sake of the Gospel.  I do know for sure that St. Paul admonishes us to “become all things to all, to save at least some.” (1 Corinthians 9:23) and while he was probably not specifically referring to adolescent humor, my pastoral experience has convinced me that this kind of silliness can help to draw teens closer to Christ.  Allow me to explain.

Recently, a mom told me that her daughter did NOT want to go on a retreat with the REAP Team, since the information that came home from school said that the retreat was optional; the daughter boldly announced to her mom, “optional means that I don’t have to go!”  So, mom asked her to talk to her older teenage brother for his opinion.  When he found out the retreat was going to be done by the REAP Team, he told his little sister that she should go, because “The REAP Team makes it fun.”  Still, little sister was unconvinced.  Then mom asked her to call her older sister, a freshman in college at Missouri State.  Older sis, who the younger sister idolized, said, “You should definitely go.  The REAP Team makes it fun to learn that stuff.”  So, the little sister ended up going on the retreat, and had a chance to draw closer to Jesus.  Why?  Because it was fun!  Notice that the older siblings did not say “it’s all fun and games” nor did they say “don’t go, it’s boring!”  They encouraged little sister to go precisely because we make learning about Jesus fun, and that is why the little sister came.  It makes me wonder how many teens give other retreats a chance because they enjoyed their REAP retreat.  Even if they are not ready for conversion while we’re with them, if our retreats are enjoyable, they’ll be more open to other religious events in the future and hopefully encourage others to attend them as well.

I am convinced that fun and silly stuff is essential to reaching young people today, especially the teens whose hearts have been hardened by hurt, religiosity, judgment, and rejection.  Those are the kids that I long to reach, and that God longs to reach.  If I can be silly, funny, and transparent - and then always speak from my heart when I give testimony – the chances are greater that teens will not only listen, but that they will experience God in retreat ministry. 

Unfortunately, many young people seem to associate the living God exclusively with books, tests, memorizing prayers and doing the “right thing” in Church.  And while we certainly can experience God is these ways, we all know that our Lord is so much bigger than that!  Time and time again, we’ve seen hearts open wide to God when teens realize that He so much more than they expected. When I tell silly jokes about things like Uranus, teens do listen to me much more attentively when I talk about God; they are more ready for a commitment to Christ and to go deeper than before.  And this should be the goal of all Christian retreats – for attendees to experience God in a deeper way than they previously have. 

Here is what some teens have had to say about this, in emails the REAP Team has received from middle school boys -

hey its adam ... the dog for the play lol. i was just emailing u to say how much fun we all had today. honestly, i didnt wanna come but after today i was so glad i did. so thanks alot. you also opened my eyes to the greatness of god even though sometimes in my life, well a lot actually, i thought he wasnt there but now i kno that he is and always wil be. im really glad i got the oppertunity to hang out with the whole REAP team for a day. and u really are changing kids lives just like me everyday.

hi, i went to the retreat with you guys. i really enjoyed it a lot. you guys are very funny, had me laughing, but yet also where serious. i don’t think that i will ever forget you guys and what i have learned from you. Normally when adults try to give us speeches like that i just block them out, or they don’t really get my attention, but you guys approached it in a funny, yet serious way and it really got my attention and made me listen. it made me think about things differently, mostly people, and my actions. and i think you changed my life, or will some day. I will always be thinking of you and what you told us today.

I just wanted to say that I thought the retreat with you guys was so much fun. I definitely think twice about things now. I will always remember how fun it was, even when I thought it was just going to be another one of those boring church things again. Thanks for coming out of your way to talk to our church.

I just wanted to say thanks for presenting to us (my church) and i really enjoyed it. It made me think about a few things, and now i really see how these teen programs (youth ministry events) can be cool, because before I never really liked them. Thanks again anyway, and I looked at your blog and found a few interesting things in there too.

And, this is a stunning email from a Mom

My son, Ryan, said (the Confirmation retreat) was the best retreat!  He really enjoyed it and just kept sharing with me things about the day.  He thought you were SO FUNNY but then he also said that you would get their attention with some humor and then make a really good point about their faith.  Thank you for doing such a great job.

And, the converse is true when humor and silliness are lacking.

I remember a place we once went to do a retreat where the adult leaders gave me a detailed list of things we could not do – and everything that was rejected was the fun stuff that we like to do with teens to make them laugh and open their hearts.  The adult leaders were OK with our serious content, just not the ‘peripheral’ silliness.  So, we did the retreat, as a test case, since I did not want to be self-righteous, believing that my way of doing ministry is the only way.  As we went through the retreat day, honoring the restrictions, I felt like I was running a race on crutches.  We finished the retreat, but I felt awkward – almost like I had worn a mask.  Good things happened, because God loves his kids and loves to show up on retreats.  I did notice something, though; while the ‘good kids’ who were already open stayed open, some of the ‘tougher kids’ were simply never engaged in the retreat.  And that made me sad.  I honestly believe that had we been allowed to be silly that the tougher kids might have opened up more.

St. Thomas Aquinas once said.  “When you want to convert a man to your view, you go over to where he is standing, take him by the hand and guide him.  You do not stand across the room and shout at him…you don’t order him to come over to where you are.  You start where he is, and you work from that position.  That’s the only way to get him to budge.”  (St. Thomas Aquinas, quoted in “Bringing Out the Best in Other People”, Dr. Alan Loy McGinnis).

We live in desperate times.  Many of today’s teens are very lost and confused.  Those are the kids that my heart longs to reach, and in this I am pretty sure I reflect the heart of Christ.  Since desperate times call for desperate measures, and since the Church has a responsibility to reach those ‘tougher kids’ with the love of Christ, I am convinced, for my part, that I need to keep being silly.  Not for my glory, but for His.  And that is why I think Uranus is important.

(for a more thorough treatment of the topic of adolescent humor in ministry, check out this article – www.reapteam.org/humor-in-ministry)